Vipassana Meditation 10-day course: Depression, Headaches and Migraines
Vipassana…
This word sounds well known for those who practice yoga, know any spiritual friend/s and take part in any shamanic meetings. Personally, I have heard this mystic word for more than five years in my life. It was always some person who finished 10-day Course and was telling to everyone around how beautiful it is or on the contrary how he/she just wasted their time on it. Deeply inside I was sure that someday this word will stop being just a word but become my real experience. And there was no necessity in trying to find a course or struggling to be on a long wait list. Everything was perfect and even though I used to have my migraines and headaches weekly, in general, i was ok, I could handle my day-to-day stress, and yoga twice a week was just enough to keep my balance on the right level.
And there are some moments in our lives when stress is tightened up to rough around your neck and as headaches becoming migraine as so fear to become a real big problem and transforming to chronical depression. And it could be bunch different types of triggers; everyone has their cause of it. And in this article in will not observe my cause of stress. Otherwise, it would be too long and with too many descriptions.
But I move directly to the topic as I would like to share my experience from the course. Though I will give a little introduction to it.
So around six months ago ( and it was Christmas season) I was caught by one of the migraines and decided that I have to do something with it. I somehow membered this word Vipassana and typed it in the search. It was a lot of a different kind of Vipassana, and I decided to find something basic, something that more traditional and without any «special» additions. So I have found www.dhamma.org and got lost for a few hours on their website. I live in NYC area, and the closest center in Shelbourne was booked till summer. I went through all different types of emotion about this fact and decided to put my name in wait list just randomly, wherever will be the free spot. And even with opened schedule, they put me on the waitlist. Pfff… I was thinking how it is possible that so many people want to go for ten days to live by this strict schedule? Wake-up bell at 4 am. Almost 10 hours of meditations per day. I thought I am only one who can even agree on it. Plus the donation story. You pay as you want at the end of the course. And not even for yourself, but for the future participant, who will come there as you knowing nothing. Have you ever see something like this before?!
So first, where to find in busy schedule 10 Days, plus you cannot use your phone to reply to work emails, etc.
Second, it is 5 hours by train and another half an hour by taxi to get there.
Third, you have no idea it going to work and what is it? Sect? Religion??
With all these thoughts I received the confirmation letter for the waiting list and «we will get in touch with you if there will be any free spot».
And as you can guess I totally forgot about this in my life.
In the middle of May i went to Chicago for a weekend with my husband. It was cold, windy. Once we decided to run in the morning and i step very badly on my foot and hurt my ankle. As i figured out later in NY after Scan it was little fracture so i could not walk, it was painful and very unpleasant. I was in bed with lifted foot watching tv shows for about 10 days. The weather outside was incredible beautiful and i stuck to the bed. My husband had to go to Italy for business and i was left all alone by myself. And this is very dangerous in my case as i can go to dark areas of my mind very quickly without any yoga, any positive vibes, any running or adrenaline. So dark cloud hung around me. Plus i got fever and high temperature, i was coughing like a crazy. Hahaha, all at once! At a time when my husband came back i was total mess! As outside, as inside. We went outside and sit on waterfront. Everything around was beautiful and colorful but not for me. I felt guilty and dirty that my husband saw me in this condition but really could not help already myself at this point.
And it was 17:17 when I got a call from unknown number. I called back when we got home. That was fun lady telling me that there is free spot on Vipassana, and the course starts in one day. HAHAHA. Yes! Yes! I want, sure! Sitting in meditation with my fractured ankle was the perfect situation for me to recover. Plus I love to meditate. Plus it will be vegetarian food and mother nature far away from the urbanistic crazy city. YES! I felt relief, excitement, happiness, glories, all at once. It was precisely the most right moment in my life to discover this word Vipassana and make it real.
And so I invited my lovely husband to the pizzeria to let him know such exciting news for me and probably not so for him as he just got back from Italy and wanted to spend some time with me.
We checked the website and the schedule of the day again. He made round eyes and told me I am crazy if will go there. Well, probably I am, and I can not categorize myself as an average person. Yay, what news.
You can check of course the timetable of the Vipassana on their website www.dhamma.org, and I will put it down here just in case.
4:00 a.m.
Morning wake-up bell
4:30-6:30
Meditate in the hall or in your room
6:30-8:00
Breakfast break
8:00-9:00
Group meditation in the hall
9:00-11:00
Meditate in the hall or in your room
11:00-12:00
Lunch break
12:00-1:00
Rest and interview with the teacher
1:00-2:30
Meditate in the hall or in your room
2:30-3:30
Group meditation in the hall
3:30-5:00
Meditate in the hall or in your room
5:00-6:00
Tea break
6:00-7:00
Group meditation in the hall
7:00-8:15
Teacher's discourse in the hall
8:15-9:00
Group meditation in the hall
9:00-9:30
Question time in the hall
9:30
Retire to your room, Lights out
I must say that all sort of schedule always makes me feel exciting. Like when you just got your weekly schedule in your school in the first week after summer vacations.
And so I have left just one day to get ready, to pack things and to prepare morally for such an adventure. I have asked my friend who used to go to Vipassana twice per year what to bring and she replied:
Scarf, Favorite Pillow, food without you die
And I took chocolate and honey. Not much but just in case, I will start doing.
And on the train, I had plenty of time to read reviews and to watch videos on Youtube.
This review by Aurianna Joy by the way I have found very helpful and she also decided to make the birthday present to herself, so I feel even more sympathy for her. You should check out her channel; she has very inspirational personality.
https://youtu.be/VeoRUgrRGl0
And the farther the train went from New York, the clearest picture becoming for me. I made a right move.
On the train station, I met the big group of people going to the same meditation retreat. And some of them were not the first time. AND they looked healthy, not like a zombie or so. Hah)
The taxi driver took us to the center and here we are, giving all our phones, gadgets and books and drawing notepads to the smiling lady; and hoping for the best.
I was given the room number 8. Which for me vital number. For example, I was born on 8th Lunar day, The day of the Phoenix.
Outside in window was the blossoming beautiful and gorgeous cherry tree, and I exhaled with peace and relief. Everything is just right, and even though it is ten days of hard inner work, I am fully prepared with chocolate, honey and smelly flowers outside of the window.
All descriptive moments are finishes at this line. Now after this evening, I will live in noble silence and with no eye contact.
I was thrilled.
And my excitement ended very soon.
Right, when the real work began.
First, three days were hell for me. I was in pain, in agony and like corns on a hot pot. The first layer of pain was entirely physical. And as a chronical migraine person, I did not have one even once for the whole period. But it was another pain, much harder to go through. All my neck, upper back, all back. It was all like on fire.
The second-day physical pain was completely the same, but my body starts to get used to it and here where all emotional pain starts to come out. All childhood memories, all bad experience from the past that I obviously did not let go yet, everything came to my inner eyes. In the end of the second day on the teacher's discourse Goenka in his lecture told that we are going through the operation. But unlike a surgical procedure with anesthesia here was a procedure in the mind without any anesthesia. And it was true. But it looked like I had body process as well.
And here was the moment where I found very good use to my chocolates and honey and even chewing vitamins that I took from home. Even though the food was very good on our breakfast and lunch, vegetarian but delicious with good spices and every day different, made with love, even though all this I badly needed something sweet before going to sleep when the kitchen was closed, and I was in pain struggling. And all these first three days after each meditation in the hall I was coming back to my room and was watching the blossoming cherry tree. I was looking at how blossoms felt down, one-by-one and it somehow helped me go through my pain. I kept saying to myself that it will pass, it will pass.
On the fourth day, I woke up surprisingly calmed down. And on the morning meditation, we started finally new technique.
On the fifth day, I was playing along with this new technique and my physical pain had begun to go by the wayside and all emotional level started to clean itself with crying. I was crying all the time. Not me actually, but my eyes. And the most interesting thing about all these stages was that at the end of the day on the Teacher's Discourse Goenka knew what I was going through all previous day. So it was very helpful to not feeling weird or so with all your emotional garbage coming out.
On the seventh day after the evening lecture about four elements and food( Goenka explained that for example too much of earth element feels in body like heaviness, or excess of fire element can be shown as a severe pain) I membered my pain, then i members that i cannot live without spicy food. And before jumping into any conclusion i decided to check first with element Earth. I used to eat there on breakfast oatmeal or brown rice which i normally do not. But here it was delicious and i was in pain and stress all the time so decided to treat myself. And so during the meditations i hardly could feel my stomach. The sensations were very cloudy and foggy. So next day I skipped all grains and rice and start to feel little bit more my abdominal. And here i could reasonably make a statement that my severe pain can be fired up even more with my love to spicy food. And without any doubts i went through fasting next couple days. And it was extremely helpful in my case though the rules of the course was against any sort of fasting. But i did it and felt much and much better. Also during the meditations i started to see the right proportions of the body and that for the better living without suffering in pain it is suppose to be isosceles triangle between center of the head and both shoulders. Which i did not have. And this not correct position could because of migraines and headaches as well.
So I have had a lot of a different kind of insight and not just about my physical condition of course. And it was good and satisfying, so I could see the real results of the almost 10 hours per day of meditating. Though nothing is forever and the 8th day was as day 2nd very crucial and critical. But it was too personal, and I would like to keep it to myself.
By the end of the course I surely came back to myself on the very deep level, and I must say meditation was my very good friend all the life. But to be honest, I was always wandering around, doing wine testing, without drinking all bottle at once. And now I can say that I can meditate properly. I can compare learning meditate it with learning how to drive. First, it is hard, then you want to throw out this idea, and then step-by-step you are getting used to it and it becoming the part of your nature.
I am writing this review after a week as I am back home.
And now with clear mind trying, to sum up, I can say that Vipassana meditation technique even though very basic can effect different people in a very different ways.
In my case, it was mostly physical, but I think it is always considering the personality.
This technique surely put everything in balance. And each time in each case very differently. Plus the location and facility play the significant role. You are in the heart of mother nature and in our crazy century when we live in multimillion cities it is very important at least once a year goes to full silence and relaxation just to be able to recover the ability to hear your real inner voice, your true inner self. Overall I did not meet even one person by the end of the course which was not smiling with a happy smile and was not satisfied with their results.
And I keep practicing sitting in the morning and the evening and when I have a chance once or two per week I am also doing one hour in the lunch time. Because I see it as a driving bicycle, once you stop pedal you stop moving, and all benefits that you have worked out before are stopping appearing as well.
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